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Thursday, March 13, 2014

My opinions on Juan Pablo & "The Bachelor"

Last night I went back and watched "The Bachelor" finale and "The Bachelor: After the Final Rose" again. No surprise, but it was just as painful and awkward as the first time. I went through and recapped the entire thing (three pages worth) but realized this episode needed more of an explanation to back up my tweets and thoughts on the entire season.

First, I have absolutely no issue with the fact Juan Pablo did not propose. Either way he is giving me a lot of blogging material. I really do not even mind that he did not fall in love. What I cannot understand is how it seems like he doesn't really like anyone except Juan Pablo. Some Bachelors have cared more about people who they sent home on the first night more than Juan Pablo does about his final one.

My issues have been and still are:

Cassandra getting sent home on her birthday when he did not know anything more about her than at the rose ceremony before. There were not any new things he learned on the group date so he should have sent her home then and she would have been home in time to spend her birthday with her son.

He did not seem bothered at all by Sharleen leaving and she was his favorite.

Juan Pablo meeting Renee's son and then sending her home at the next rose ceremony. He knew he did not want to be a stepfather so he should not have went through with meeting Ben. You go weeks without kissing her to respect Ben, but you meet him and send her home.

Juan Pablo and Andi's fantasy suite date: a lot of people blamed Andi for being overdramatic in this scenario. Andi has been one of my top favorites from the beginning and to me it did not seem like that at all. She gave examples of stuff he said like telling her she was "default" and talking about "Clare's date" which is even weirder. It showed his lack of respect or even feelings in this by not caring that one of his final three was going home.

There are so many issues when it comes to Clare. I thought it was ridiculous him playing the child card on her when he willingly did things with her. That he continually lead her on majorly and made her feel like she was number one. She was absolutely at fault in that two, but he really kept it going. Even worse, during their last date he said he "loved ******* her." It was not caught on a microphone or video but there is video of Clare sharing what he said.  That was so disrespectful and he then went on to reassure her their relationship was not just physical and talked about having children with her. Then he sent her home and when she went off he said "I am glad I did not pick her." Wow, as if he could not get any worse he went there.

You would think at this point the laundry list of issues would be done, but even the way he treats Nikki is bad. He set there and made a fool out of her. He could not even say he loved her (whatever,) he did not want to talk about their relationship at all (you are on TV) and has no plans with her. Plus, what is the surprise? He told production he had a surprise and then did not?

Last,  how Juan Pablo treated absolutely everyone. He insulted specific demographics, ABC and was rude to Chris Harrison. Editing cannot make up things you say, it can show out of context or tone, but what you say is still your problem.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

'The Bachelor' Juan Pablo Finale

Meet Juan Pablo’s Parents and some lucky vacation winners. Since when do cousins get free trips to paradise? Clare Clare is up first which does not surprise me because she has been in everything else this far. It is not all rainbows and butterflies because Juan Pablo’s family even thinks he is rude, even his mom, she said, “He sometimes is very rude.” On another note, I love Juan Pablo’s papa. Seriously how did Juan Pablo come from that sweet family? Nikki

Nikki shows up and thankfully they remember her because we do not want a Neil Lane and Ben Flajnik moment (we actually do.) Nikki’s side braid and bringing flowers shows she is in it to win it. She gets to talk to Juan Pablo’s papi who is the best, and he says, “You know he is not an easy guy.” Juan Pablo's mom asks what they would do if they were together. Her answer is beach, play and games. Is she talking to his mom or Camilla? She says she is not sure if he is ready and Nikki still is not worried. Juan Pablo has 99 problems and they are all the opinions of his family. I can’t remember the last time a lead’s family threw him or her under the bus like Juan Pablo’s family.This situation has more red flags than a beach during a hurricane. Final dates Clare Clare is excited to see Juan Pablo of course and it looks like it will be one of their normal dates, but then things go wrong very quickly. Juan Pablo says “something” that is extremely offensive, but there is no microphone, no camera and all kinds of problems. The pilot knows and I bet he already has a book deal. Clare hints that it has to do with their physical connection, which is something you, me and a sea knows about. This statement upsets Clare which ended up no kisses for Juan Pablo when he arrived. When she asks him about what he said then he does not remember. In true Juan Pablo fashion he sweet talks her back into him and the entire time I am thinking “break up with him.” He should have never talked about having children with her and I am convinced he is the type of guy who can break up with you and make you feel like it is your idea. Nikki Juan Pablo talks about how much Nikki loves him but that he needs to find out if he is interested in her. We are down to the final two so there has to be at least one person you think is “cool” or I would settle for “all right.” It is your final date and you wear sweatpants Juan Pablo, way to bring your A game. Nikki professes her love and Juan Pablo doesn’t say anything except “it’s ok.” The date ends with Nikki crying and it is clear that no one is happy. Final Rose Clare

Being first in this competition is beneficial 99.9% of the time, but when it comes to arriving to the final rose ceremony it shows that you are about to get dumped. How does Chris Harrison keep a straight face when the first person shows up? I would probably be the person to beg him to tell me if I was first or last. Does anyone remember the awkward time that the contestant that was picked got to watch the other person get dumped? I think it was Jesse Palmer's season with Jessica and Tara (This is based on my memory, I didn't look it up.) To this day I don’t understand why contestants spill their souls at the final rose ceremony. At this point, the person has made their decision (maybe) whether it is you or not, if it is you can tell him or her after and if not you keep your dignity. Juan Pablo starts to give Clare the compliment sandwich and she knows she is done. After the breakup talk he tries to give her a hug and she puts her hands up. All the single ladies put your hands up. Clare goes off and I am glad she did that vs. breaking down. Andi and Sharleen got a shout out in the breakup chat and Clare says she wouldn’t want him to be the father of her children. This OH SNAP moment is more than I could have ever asked for. You go Clare, you go! Juan Pablo had the nerve at the end to say he was glad he didn’t pick her. In Clare’s ITM she talks about what Juan Pablo said to her and wow does he have a way with words. 

Nikki Nikki is going into this thinking that she is getting engaged. Most of all, I miss the appearances by Neil Lane. What did he do just FedEx a ring to St. Lucia? The first half of the conversation sounds exactly like Clare’s did and Nikki thinks she is going home. Then Juan Pablo mentions a ring and her face lights up, just to be disappointed a few minutes later. Juan Pablo asks if Nikki will accept his rose (that looks like it may or may not be from 1-800 flowers Valentine's bouquets) and that was a delayed reaction. Was she thinking no? We will never know, unless she goes on "Bachelor Pad." After the Final Rose
Clare comes out to the hot seat with a fabulous dress and perfect curls. She does not throw him under the bus and does not seem bitter. I was really impressed with Clare at the ATFR and I know I gave her a difficult time throughout the season, but she redeemed herself. As much as I would have liked to see those two chat it would have just been “it’s ok.” Juan Pablo interrupts Chris Harrison and wants everything kept private. Nikki is not sure if Juan Pablo loves her, but she loves him. Juan Pablo & Nikki

He is extremely cold and Nikki seems so awkward about it all. I feel so bad for her. Tomorrow I will be posting my thoughts on the entire season and another about Andi being "The Bachelorette." Who else is excited that it is Andi?

All photo and image rights belong to ABC/Disney.
XO, Ashley

Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Bachelor' Juan Pablo: Episode Eight

I thought there was not anything more exhausting and entertaining than two Bachelor episodes in one week. I was wrong the Juan Pablo is more exhausting than any Bachelor in a long time. He is not boring like Ben was but is almost as self-consumed as Jake. Thankfully when the Bachelor acts like this people still watch.

The hometowns were quite uneventful. Nikki has a great Midwestern family. Then we went to Atlanta to see my favorite, Andi. We learned Juan Pablo cannot shoot very well and that Hy Dorfman is one of the best dads on the show. Clare's family was hilarious and I spent the first 10 minutes of it trying to figure out who her mother was. Lara was my favorite, seriously how hilarious was she? Renee let Juan Pablo meet her son and then he dumped her. 

Is anyone keeping a list of Juan Pablo's gracious things he does: 

  • Jumped in the ocean with Clare at 4 a.m. then proceeded to play the child card on her.
  • Sent Cassandra home on her birthday to be with her son which in reality was her sitting on a plane by herself on her birthday.
  • Then meeting Renee's son and dumping her a couple days letter.
What else could he do though? 

Clare gets the first one-on-one which is really making me think he does like her the best or just misses "swimming." Clare acts like she is considering not going forward with the fantasy suite which is funny and understandable at the same time. Of course she does it and they find water. 

Andi's date was next but for recapping sake, we will go to Nikki next. Nikki shows up in a fringe swimsuit top and bright patterned pants. I am so distraught about the Andi thing I have no idea what happened next. 

Back to my favorite, Andi. Her hometown went well in my mind, maybe not so much to Juan Pablo. They go on a date, Andi wears a cute dress and Juan Pablo ends up playing soccer with some cute children, which means she is still technically on a group date. They have dinner and go to the fantasy suite. 

The next morning includes one of the most dramatic and real situations to happen on this show that I can think of. You do not really think of talking when it comes to this stage of the dating but obviously Andi and Juan Pablo did a lot, and it was all about Juan Pablo. The worst part is he told her that she was there by default. What does that even mean? He dumped Renee after meeting her child so how is she there by default? 

Juan Pablo proceeds to says "It's ok" and I have never been so tired of hearing that or "It's fine." Thankfully, Andi washed her hands of this and got out. Can she just be "The Bachelorette" now? 

What did you all think of this episode? Who is your favorite? I cannot wait for the Women Tell All. 

All photo rights belong to ABC. 


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

'The Bachelor' Juan Pablo: Episode Seven

“We’re going to Miami, welcome to Miami.” Juan Pablo goes home where there just happens to be cameras on my favorite person, Camilla. Juan Pablo and Camilla jump in the pool and then he tells his family how much he loves Sharleen. The best part about this is him calling Sharleen an “Oprah (opera) singer.” If she was, you would get a sure, you would get a sure and YOU would get a sure.

Juan Pablo greets all of the women in their suite and hands the date card to Sharleen. She is super confused and finally realizes the date is for her.


We learn that Sharleen has not spent much time in Miami and that Juan Pablo is not her type. I completely believe Juan Pablo is not even close to being her type. Sharleen you are gorgeous and have perfect eyebrows but you can’t have Ames taste on a Juan Pablo budget.

It could not be more fitting that he and Sharleen makeout in the ocean, because we know how well the water worked for Clare. I guess they did not do anything that he wouldn’t want Camilla to see.

Back at the suite Sharleen has a talk with resident therapist, the lovely Renee.


Nikki asks what are they doing and Juan Pablo said he knew she was going to ask that, but really what are they doing? That question is legitimate, Juan Pablo. They go to a flower shop and Juan Pablo proceeds to tell Nikki she is going to get to meet Camilla, his parents and Carla. It is totally cool to meet your date’s child, parents and baby momma on the second date.

Camilla has her dance recital and it is even more apparent she is the star of this show. Can he pick someone, ABC pick a Bachelorette and we just continue this with Camilla and her dance crew? She is totally my spirit animal.

On another note, how gorgeous is Carla? It wouldn’t be fun to date someone with a child, but it would be brutal to date someone with a baby momma who looks like that. Camilla continues to be my favorite with her Cheetos. The next day is Carla’s Birthday and I can’t help but wonder if Juan Pablo would send her home too.

The date continues at Juan Pablos office also known as the Marlins stadium and it is confirmed that Nikki was not given wardrobe ideas. Baseball throwing and the plunge neckline do not mesh very well. I hope she had some double stick tape nearby.

Sharleen decides to leave and in my memory I can’t think of a time a Bachelor didn’t try to get someone to stay.

Group Date

Andi shows up with her fishtail braid as if she wasn’t already my favorite.  Chelsie just happens to have a stack of letters and a photo album on her, which is totally normal. Better yet Chelsie decides to read parts of the letter and it is pretty much everything Clare has done.

Clare and Juan Pablo talk about hometowns and I think he is terrified that she has that many sisters.  If you dump her, they are going to find you. Clare reminds us that her father made a video for the person she marries and I just hope she does not give it to Juan Pablo.

According to Clare, whoever gets this rose is a clear front-runner and oh the awkwardness when he does not choose her, but picks Andi.

Later on, Andi is wearing a fabulous outfit and shoes but has to dance. Juan Pablo is really pushing the dancing thing.

Back at the suite

Nikki comes down to see the women after they return and I am convinced she is just looking for Andi, who is still continuing her date elsewhere.  I learn being checked out isn’t being fake. Clare talked about how she felt Andi needed reassurance and Nikki walked away.

Then the most entertaining exchange in recent Bachelor history occurred:

“Did you sleep in here?” “Did you pay for it?” “Did you sleep in here?” “Did you pay for it?”

Cocktail Party

Obviously all of the women asked themselves “WWVGD” which is What would Victoria Grayson do? Put on your Revenge best and let’s do this. Clare and Nikki awkwardly are alone for a few minutes and I don’t think anyone has been this happy to see another person.

Rose Ceremony

Andi has a rose and then the order goes: Nikki, Clare and Renee.

Chelsie goes home and the only consolation prize is bungee jumping after eating Venezuelan food.

Next week is a TWO DAY Bachelor event! Hometowns and fantasy suites are all in one week, so how am I supposed to survive?

Who is your favorite? Also, who should be the next Bachelorette. I can’t wait to live-tweet next week so if you aren’t already following me you can here: @BachelorExpert.



Wednesday, February 12, 2014

'The Bachelor' Juan Pablo: Episode Six

“The Bachelor” war tour stopped in Vietnam. All aboard, the next stop is New Zealand.

At this point, everyone but Andi has had a one-on-one date which is a travesty (not Kelly, but I still miss her.) The date card arrives and obviously Clare thinks it should be for her.


Andi finally gets a one-on-one which makes me happy. We do not see enough of her or her clothes. Juan Pablo takes Andi in a boat and then swimming. I cannot help but wonder if this is normal swimming or “Clare” swimming. During all of this a song in my head is playing, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls stick to the Vietnam waters you are used to.”

After the swimming, they have dinner on a geyser and get drenched. Do not fret because Andi looks fabulous and what do you do when all else fails? You kiss of course.

Group Date

The women act like this date is so original and fun. As entertaining as it is to see Juan Pablo and his ladies roll down hills in wet balls, they have these at my local mall. I would be puking or dying over the motion sickness and germs involved. Anyway, the ladies love it and look like they are getting birthed each time they climb out.

It is Cassandra’s 22nd birthday and I still cannot get over the fact we are the same age. She is actually a few months older than me since I turn 22 next Thursday. That is irrelevant and I am sure this is exactly how she imagined her birthday.  Juan Pablo gives out the rose but then pulls Cassandra aside. Maybe he got her a cake, card or flowers? He has a serious look on and it is not looking good. He will not send her home on her birthday, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong it was turning south in a hurry and he does not want to keep her away from her son any longer.

Can we rationalize this? He did not know anything new about her from the last time he saw her when he gave her a rose at the ceremony. He takes her on a group date on her birthday and then is not feeling it? While this may be honest to some people, he did not want to keep her from her son, but was cool with letting her set on a plane by herself on a plane on her birthday. He should have sent her home the week before or gave her the luxury of getting drunk in New Zealand with the ladies that night. Taylor Swift definitely did not prepare Cassandra for this moment. 


The Bachelor makes a girl feel special by giving her the first one-on-one and then proceeds to give her special treatment throughout the process. This leads to sneaking away from group dates and getting in cold pools to showing up and knocking on the door at 4 a.m. This turned into swimming in the Vietnam water and ending up in a sea of regret.

One week later, Clare gets the first one-on-one in the second round. She is “so” surprised and knows he is going to feel bad. Honestly I did not think he would feel bad or even act like it but he did. So what is worse than swimming in water with a woman, regretting it and then taking her on another date? This, he apologizes and is over it. Later, they put on “peeyamas” because that totally does not lead someone on at all.

Clare forgives Juan Pablo, he is sorry and they are back. If he takes her to the end and does not choose her it might be the worst breakdown ever.

Cocktail Party

Kat tells more secrets and I am convinced she should not do that because if he sends her home, she just talked about the past on national TV.

Rose Ceremony

I am thinking Chelsie is going to go home and no he sends Kat squared home. All of those secrets were spilled for no reason.

Next week looks dramatic and I cannot wait! Who do you want to be the next Bachelorette? Who is perfect for Juan Pablo?

All photo rights belong to ABC/Disney.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

'The Bachelor' Juan Pablo: Episode Five

In the episode five of "The Bachelor" the war world tour continues in Vietnam.


After weeks of handling breakdowns and reassuring people Renée finally gets a one-on-one date. Renée deserves a date more than anything and I bet she didn’t think she would have to referee more on the show than in her own house.

We learn very early on that it is extremely hot because the sweat doesn’t lie. What could make this hot date better? Juan Pablo tells Renée that she is going to get a custom made dress.

Next up is dinner and that dress isn’t what I was expecting as far as style but it did look really heavy. Juan Pablo and Renée talk about their children and still don’t kiss. To get along this well and not kiss is a little disappointing. Stay tuned though, the episode isn’t over yet.

Group Date

This is supposed to be a group date but it quickly turns into the Juan Pablo and Clare show. She doesn’t have a friend and needs a partner so she chooses Juan Pablo. Is it not required to have at least one friend on this show?

They all eat a Vietnamese dinner at some family’s house. Clare’s facial expressions were hilarious.

If Clare didn’t get enough attention that morning, he pulled her away first and left the date to go to his suite. This causes major side-eye among the girls. Then Juan Pablo takes the girls away one by one and makes out with them.

Sharleen gave us the wonderful comparison of “A panda in a room full of brown bears.”

Clare gets the rose but as we find out, later the night is very young.


Clare sneaks out and I keep wondering if they share rooms or not. She knocks on Juan Pablo’s door at 4 a.m. and wants to mark something off of her bucket list. Is it going to be skydiving, skinny-dipping or something even more dramatic? She quickly follows up saying “swimming in the warm water.” This may be the simplest thing I have ever heard on a bucket list ever.

They jump in the water and it gets weirder. Clare talks about opening up, but then “went for it” so interpret that as you wish.

As if I was not already ruined, Clare compares this to a baby giraffe being born. Now how am I supposed to go to the zoo again. 


Nikki finally gets a date and I am hoping that she is getting the Michelle Money edit. Of course, what is more fitting than a fear date? Juan Pablo wants her to rappel down the rock first, but changes his mind whenever she gets scared. In the process, he gets quite the view.

In typical Bachelor fashion, someone might appear cold or closed off at first and then become a favorite. Her talking about her job is refreshing but I am just not sure how she is a nurse and not a morning person.  They kiss and clearly have a solid connection. I am still thinking about Clare and her baby giraffe comment.

“Cocktail Party”

This wasn’t just the average cocktail party. It began very awkward and with Clare toasting to falling. She doesn’t stay there for long though, because Juan Pablo pulls her away and tells her what happened was a big mistake. What was this? Or her talking about how difficult it is for her to open up.

All of the other girls have no idea of what is going on beside Clare saying she has “bad allergies” which is slightly offensive to those of us that do.

Then Juan Pablo has to comfort Clare about her being upset over what happened in the first place. I can’t get over that they did this in a gross polluted ocean. That had to be uncomfortable.

Rose Ceremony

Danielle, Alli and Kelly went home. I am so bummed about Kelly and her one-liners.

Andi is my favorite and I really hope she ends up “The Bachelorette.” I will miss Kelly’s commentary and am glad to see Renee and Juan Pablo have a connection.
Who is your favorite?

All photo/visual rights belong to ABC/Disney. 


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

"The Bachelor" Juan Pablo: Season 18 Episode Three

“The Bachelor” kicks off after a dramatic weekend and a Bachelor love story special the night before. The first date goes to Cassandra. Cassandra: At some point I will get over the fact she is my age. I commend Juan Pablo getting to know her so he can send her home to her child if he is not interested. Cassandra meets Juan Pablo and then they get into a magic jeep. It can float in water and it may be the magic jeep but she is not Ms. Frizzle. How does Juan Pablo have an iPhone on the show? Cassandra is by far the biggest victim of the bio photo this season because she is way more gorgeous than her photo. Their kiss was awkward but still not the worst kiss of the episode. Group Date:
Juan Pablo with the blue and red teams.
Photo Rights: ABC
Soccer is Juan Pablo’s thing so of course a competition is overdue. As always there is a blue and a red team, can we come up with some different colors, how about purple and yellow or aqua and coral? I always love when there are team competitions because it shows who are the favorites. Never are there more two favorites per team. The fact he didn’t have a winner shows that he likes both teams equally. Andi talks about David Beckham and Kelly talks about not being athletic and obviously they are my favorites. Sharleen got hurt multiple times and honestly I would probably be the person who gets hurt, but for attention. Nikki: They have a great connection and she got the rose. Andi: I love her outfit, they get along really well and she got a snack. On a better note their kissing was normal and avoided grossing me out. Sharleen: that kiss ruined me. Chelsie: They sing and dance in the car. This is followed by Venezuelan food and bungee jumping. That food and this date sound like it is going to be a catastrophe. Why do these girls not put dolphins and cupcakes as their fears? Those shorts are no bueno. Juan Pablo says it will not ruin his day if they do not jump all I am thinking is "but it will ruin the producers’ day." They talk about fears and conclude the day with Billy Currington. Back at the mansion: Elise talks to Cassandra (the youngest person in the house by far) how Chelsie is too young for him, who happens to be three years older than the person she is talking to. Awkward is an understatement. Pool party: Kelly and Molly come downstairs and she is in knee socks, glasses and has a top-knot. Renée comes down and Juan Pablo loves that she does not have to fix her hair. Clare looks good in “pee-yamas.” Then they all had breakfast. Sharleen is worried about not being fun in which causes her to cry. Way to prove a point one tear at a time. Clare has a minor meltdown caused by first date disorder. Renée talks Clare out of her sadness and somehow she looks flawless again in time for Juan Pablo. Renée needs to be a therapist. Rose Ceremony: My favorites got through thankfully. Lucy and Christy were sent home and I am just sad the lack of shenanigans I thought we would get to see more of when it came to Lucy. She was so entertaining and was starting to grow on me.

Who are your favorites? I love tweeting with all of you during the show. If you are not following me yet you can do so @BachelorExpert.

All photo rights belong to ABC.

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