Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Bachelor in Paradise' Season Two: Week Two Recap

'Bachelor in Paradise' is as hot as the humid hot weather in Mexico and there will not be a drought because of the constant waterfall of Iaconetti sisters' tears. The sisters are hysterical; however, the Tenley love-square and Joe entrance is heating paradise up more.

The Top (Only) Five Things That Happened on 'Bachelor in Paradise' this week are: 

1. Iaconetti Sister Breakdown

Princess Jasmine and Cinderella's relationship is one of the main focuses of 'Bachelor in Paradise.' Ashley needs Lauren, but Lauren wants Josh and then Josh wants Tenley. As a result, Lauren leaves because it is 'hell' not paradise. As a result, Ashley is devastated and breaks down. This causes Ashley to lash out at Lauren, in which she tells her that she will always be second in her 'boyfriend's' life. Then Lauren tells Ashley that at least she gets men. Bless their parents and who would watch these two on a future TV show (raises hand)? 

2. Joe is the Worst

I had to start with the sisters, so Joe is number two, because of numerous reasons. Let's start with the fact that I was not a fan of him last season. He was short-tempered and extreme when Kaitlyn broke up with him. However, during Joe's return the cast was charmed, which quickly turned to he is a sociopath.

Unfortunately, he played Juelia who has a child, then played Jonathan who has a child and finally Mikey who may or may not be a child. He made the men feel bad for their concerns about him and all that Joe wants is to meet Samantha. Who is Samantha though? She is the gorgeous brunette from Chris' season that did not speak. My point with that was if I do not have a lasting memory of her, then how does a guy the season after her remember her? Either that was a push for dramatic purposes or he met Samantha before the show, because if I predicted the cast she would have not been a consideration of mine, so why was Joe positive she would be there?

Some people think Joe is the worst and others think Juan Pablo. Please let me know what your thoughts are on who is the worst villain.

Finally Joe is a terrible example for Kentucky, please judge the state or at least Louisville on the actions of Whitney Bischoff instead.

3. Tenley's Love Square:

Clearly, this is Tenley's paradise and all of the other people are just sweating in it. Tenley gets with JJ to save herself, then Joshua wants to be with Tenley and then Michael shows up and wants her too. This causes Tenley to be on a date or in someone's arms 24/7.

Let's compare:

JJ--cheated on his wife and lives with parents, but is surprisingly mildly charming on the show.
Joshua--who may or may not do Molly. A Molly has not caused this much drama since Jason went full Mesnick years ago. Now, Joshua is crying bad editing, but with those tattoo choices and lack of Asia geography skills, I am not buying what he is selling.
Michael--He is a corporate lawyer that has a real job. Michael is the unicorn of Bachelor in Paradise, which means she will not choose him.

Tenley chooses Joshua and then we go to a Clare fit and 'To Be Continued' because what is worse than four hours of 'Bachelor in Paradise' in a week? The fact we still don't get an ending to each episode. Meanwhile, I sit on my couch wondering how that is possible.

4. Jared likes Ashley and Clare

Ashley I is ruined when Jared gets a date card and gives it to Clare, who Ashley thinks is old. Since when is 34 so old that you cannot have children? I do not know where to start with Clare Bear and Princess Jasmine, because they are both incredibly entertaining. After kissing on the date and whatever physical effect happened to Clare after bungee jumping, Jared ultimately agrees with Ashley and goes full Aladdin.

5. Joshua talks about drugs and Clare bails at rose ceremony

In an awkward chain of events, Joshua brags about drugs, Vegas and partying. He assures Tenley that it only happened once and as stated above it worked in his favor.

Number five was a combination because neither were strong enough to stand alone. At the conclusion of the episode Clare talks with Chris Harrison because she does not have anyone to give her rose to. Then we get a 'To be Continued.'

Finally, I am still a fan of 'After Paradise.' I like the idea, but not the execution. I love almost everything ABC does. However, the show should be 30 minutes, the co-host should rotate former contestants and there needs to be less cross-promotion. Similar to 'The Bachelorette' and 'The Bachelor' we need celebrities who like the show and other non-ABC people as well. There has to be a healthy balance because currently I feel like I am watching commercials for other shows, while watching a show about the show I just watched. It needs work, but if I know ABC they will find the correct formula.

Follow me at @BachelorExpert for all #BachelorInParadise live-tweeting. 



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